Questions from the shallow end | Dogwater Registered Agent

A paper cup of cloudy water with a bent straw on a scratched reception counter beside a blank note.

Why seven dollars?: Six felt cheap. Eight felt like effort. Seven is the depth of the bowl.
What is in the bowl for $7?: Our address on your state filing. The filing is real. The address is real. The bowl is at it. Nothing else is.
A process server just handed papers to your address. Now what?: Now the papers are at our address. They will be there a while. We do not look in the bowl, and we do not tell you what is in it.
Does anybody sit at the address?: There is a room. There is a bowl in it. Sitting is not something we have arranged.
How much do you owe me if it all goes under?: Three months of fees. At $7 a year that is $1.75, and only if it goes under in the first ninety days. From day ninety-one the last three months of fees comes to zero, because you paid the year up front. The $1.75 stays in the bowl either way.
Is there a person at the end of the phone?: There is an end. The phone is at it. That is as far as we have got.
Will you carry me into next year?: No. One year, poured once. When it runs out, it runs out.
Is anyone cheaper? Pricier?: Four under us, eight over. YOLO Registered Agents at $5 calls itself premium. YOLO Registered Agent at $2.50 is half a bowl. Tree Fiddy Registered Agents at $3.50 rounds to the half dollar. IDGAF Registered Agents at $1 is a dry spot on the floor. IDGAF Agents at $24 put a lid on nothing. Mid Registered Agents at $37 is adequate, by its own account. Mid Registered Agent at $27, or whatever. Dogwater Registered Agents at $17 is the deep end of our own bowl. Mid Wyoming Agents at $22 covers one state. Mid Wyoming Agent at $12 covers one state, sometimes. 19 Registered Agents at $19 sells everything for nineteen. 19 Registered Agent at $19 is the markdown of that. We charge $7. Shallow end. Same water.
How do I stop?: You stop by waiting. Nothing renews, so nothing needs cancelling. You will find out it ended when somebody else tells you.
Can a registered agent really be a bowl?: The state pages quote the statute word for word, then quote what the state does about an agent like us. Read yours. We have not.
Is this a company or a puddle?: Both. The price is real, the terms are real, the statutes on the state pages are real, and so are the fees they describe. The service is the only thing we watered down.
Will my mail dry out before you send it on?: It will dry out. Sending it on is not the next step. There is no next step.
Why is the writing so short?: Shallow end. Short sentences. Small promises. We keep the sentences.